OK, I don't even know where to go with the dad-as-Jesus-freak vs. mom-as-reincarnation-freak dynamic of Naomi's divorced parents. It certainly explains the divorce, though. ;) And, yeah, some of us get way closer to JC during the divorce process. But that doesn't explain the whole dead dove and "serious interest" in reincarnation.
Remember that woman a few seasons ago who hired actors to play her parents acting like asses? It was really uncomfortable at the time, but in hindsight it was funny.
Anyway, I'm back to Jillian again, after hesitating last week and thinking maybe Melissa. Her parents should be ashamed of themselves. If it's one thing I've learned in these almost 7 years of being a mother, it's that you just suck it up for your kid. Puke in the eye, no sleep for three years, suffering through endless birthday parties, permanent indentations in the bottoms of your feet from stepping on Legos, selling hot dogs in the blazing sun to support the Little League team, getting a hideous perm because your daughter wants you to look "cool" in 1986, etc. And if your kid needs you to go on national TV having dinner with some guy on a reality show, you suck it the eff up and say "What should I wear?" and start flipping through your recipe book.
Molly, who smiles and pretends everything is Ok because that's what she has to do for her family, is going to have a major midlife crisis in approximately 15 years, and will leave her family-approved husband, spend two weeks camping in Taos, and come back to spend the rest of her life with a guy who rides a motorcycle and refuses to wear a hat.
I miss Stephanie and her insane clothing.
I still think that 25 (Molly or Melissa) is just so young to be in a relationship with someone almost a decade older, who has been divorced, who has a child, who has that much more experience of Life. (As you admitted, Moxie, now you were not looking for the shiny, happy person of interest, but rather the come-through-the-fire-reborn person of interest.)
For that reason I'd pick Jillian. But I think he has the best sexual chemistry with Melissa. But someone is going to have a complete freakout before it's all over, right? :-)
Posted by: Kate | February 10, 2009 at 09:10 AM
I'm leaning Jillian, but Melissa has made serious headway with me.
And I actually fastforwarded thru Naomi's crazy mess thinking "fake family" the whole time! Then when I realized it WASN'T I had to go back and rewatch...total weirdness...
Posted by: bobbi | February 10, 2009 at 11:34 AM
I'm leaning towards Jillian as well.
I think he was really sweet to go along with the burying the bird thing and whatever else was thrown at him. I suspect we learned more about him than we did the girls this week.
Posted by: Jill | February 10, 2009 at 11:40 AM
I really, really feel for Naomi. How off was that family? Their home (with the beer steins, slot machines, and no design concept at all) just totally looked like a place where dysfunction lives. Her parents struck me as narcissists - WTF with the whole "the dove killed itself on my windshield" instead of "I killed a dove" like a healthy person could say?? Her dad so selfishly put his own views onto his daughter and onto Jason. They both disturbed me so much - and as textbook narcissists go, neither parent made any effort to know Jason (nor their own daughter!) - they only wanted to hear someone agree with their own off-kilter views. They both represent the worst stereotypes of California. I could NOT give someone a rose after that mess, especially if I'm thinking potential step-grandparents for my DS. Though I know you're not supposed to hold someone's family against them, pretty much I would! I think the dysfunction definitely tipped the scales against Naomi, though she was already on the outs.
BTW, how did everyone else's family get to be so annoyingly rich & stylish? Jillian & Molly's family homes looked so opulent to me. Is that what normal upper middle class homes look like these days? Wow. I get the sense Jason came from money, too, so it prolly struck him as normal. But still. I know Jillian is an interior designer, so perhaps she had a hand in creating that loveliness. Could someone pretty please tell Jill not to wear that white demi-bra with the white shirt though? Normally I love her outfits so much... But on a more serious note, I'm really happy for Jillian's family to have made it through mom's long depression & to be able to find happiness again - very inspirational.
Moxie, you are 100% spot on about Molly's future! Look, IMHO, 24 is usually way too young for this kind of serious talk of "forvever-ness," especially given Molly's own personal brand of 24, where she is still so very childishly tied up in pleasing mommy & daddy that she has no real sense of her autonomous self, and no idea what she really wants. New rule for Molly: you need at least 3 long term (over 1 year) relationships where you sleep together & they meet your parents before you're allowed to conclude you've found "the one"!
And Melissa's parents & brother?? Amen again, Moxie! That was all pretty unforgivable. Can you say shaming?? And they never went to a single Cowboys game to watch her cheer? I think that's the very definition of shitty parenting right there. Thank god she has such caring friends - friends are the family we get to choose. Melissa, the above rule for Molly applies to you, too!
My vote is still for Jillian - as the only well-adjusted, grown-up enough one left! But you know what? I bet he goes and picks frickin' Deanna. That rejection is way too powerful an aphrodesiac!
Posted by: hush | February 10, 2009 at 01:21 PM
Oh my gosh, ladies. I haven't even watched it yet (but I had to find out who got the boot last night!) and I LOVE your responses. I agree with what you guys have said. I would like to see him choose Jillian because she is the most mature of the 3 women left. He mentioned last week that he has the most physical attraction to Melissa but from what you said about the way her family acted? And not going to see any of the Cowboys games? Moxie, I loved what you said about what you do for your kids. How dare they?
I can't wait to watch later tonight having read your comments already. Is Deanna coming back on next week's episode? DRAMA!
Posted by: Julie | February 10, 2009 at 06:55 PM
P.S. Okay, I'm in the midst of watching and I CANNOT believe Naomi's family. THEY ARE FREAKS. FREAKS. Seriously, if you know you are THAT crazy, tone it down a bit wouldja? The dove? The slot machines? Hector the Jesus freak? The indigo thing? I am so happy Jason did not pick her.
I LOVED Jillian's family. I completely agree with what you guys said about Molly- I do like her, but she's way to young, way to parent-pleasing, way to innocent. As a mommy myself, I can't imagine that Molly could really be ready for that right now.
And Melissa. There is definitely a chemistry there that isn't necessarily there with all of the women. I think he's going to pick her but I'm still pulling for Jillian.
On a different note, did you guys see the commercials for In the Motherhood starting this spring? It looks HILARIOUS.
Posted by: Julie | February 10, 2009 at 08:28 PM
I don't watch the Bachelor and I have never watched the Bachelor, but I find these comments hysterical and am starting to wonder what my family would look like on film. My parents love me a lot and support me (emotionally) in whatever I do, but they didn't go to my HS (where I was valedictorian) or college graduations (and I'm not sure know what I majored in in college). I always figured people whose families were more present were a little "coddled" and "not independent" for lack of better words. So, the fact that the parents never watched their daughter do cheerleading or whatever doesn't strike me as odd. I thought it was weird when my husband took a vacation day from work to watch his sister graduate from optometry school (and he wondered why I wasn't...dude, I get 10 vacation days and you want me to waste one on this!).
My point other than to ramble: Maybe even when families know they are crazy or dysfunctional, they don't really know which parts of their schtick is the crazy/dysfunctional part and don't know where to begin to tone it down.
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | February 11, 2009 at 01:19 PM
@SarcastiCarrie, a defining feature of any type of "crazy" is a lack of self-awareness. Dysfunctional families usually either honestly don't know, or won't admit, what's crazy about them.
Please don't take this the wrong way - I don't know you at all. I'm just some schmo lady from the internet. Though you don't watch the show, these comments hit a nerve with you for a valid reason worth exploring. I think you were and still are actually very hurt that your parents did not care enough to be physically there for you at those golden moments in your young life. You don't seem to want to let yourself admit this, however, because to do so would put you in the box you've created of "coddled, not-independent" people. The box is a self-defense mechanism built up over time to help you avoid acknowledging your hurt feelings.
You just sound so much like me, so that's why I felt compelled to write this. My family did very similar things and is totally dysfunctional but I was the last to know it. I also didn't want to be one of those sappy "I need mommy & daddy" types.
Posted by: hush | February 11, 2009 at 04:57 PM
hush - Don't worry, I am definitely aware that there's a certain underlying level of dysfunction in the family. As I am learning (with my own kids), how great it is to spend time with your kids, I am sad that my parents missed out on that with me. But, I try to forgive them whenever that happens because I realize they were just teenagers when we kids came along and there's a certain level of self-involvement that is normal in the teens and early 20s. Kids don't fit with that very well.
I just thought of an AWESOME Ask Moxie question though. Must go email it and maybe we'll get to talk about what is an appropriate level of involvement (not too hands off and not too helicopter-parenty).
Posted by: SarcastiCarrie | February 12, 2009 at 10:08 AM
It's so nice to have you do all of the research for us. It makes our decision making so much easier!! Thanks.
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