Four years ago I was huge (enormous!) and 38 weeks pregnant, lying on the couch, watching the XIX Olympics, flabbergasted at curling. Curling! It's a sport! That looks like shuffleboard, kind of. And you don't have to be 16 to do it!
I'm not imagining my list of Things To Do Before I Die is that vastly different from yours. Maybe my Dream Occupations (syndicated columnist and/or public intellectual) are different from yours, but I'm betting pretty much everyone else has at least some of these things on their list of Things (Possible or Impossible) To Do Before I Die:
1. Become a grandmother
2. Own a convertible
3. Own a lake/ocean house
4. Run my own company that makes billions of dollars and creates good jobs for underemployed mothers in a developing country, including on-site well-run daycare/school for their kids
5. Become governor of a nice, quiet state (maybe Iowa or Wyoming)
6. Win MacArthur Award
7. Travel to all the continents (possibly in a tour group with other MacArthur Award winners)
8. Win an Oscar (for screenwriting, of course--wouldn't want to have to do all the botox necessary for acting)
9. Have regular dinner parties at which I flirt outrageously with Bill Clinton, Fareed Zakaria, Jon Stewart, Chow Yun-Fat, and Queen Latifah
10. Win an Olympic medal (I'd settle for bronze, even)
And there are probably a few others, but that's pretty much the basic fantasy list. So you can see how my head would be turned by curling, a sport that's within reach of a 32-year-old with phobias about hurtling downhill on a waxed board and no sense of balance. I mean, come on. I could have started a few months post-partum, and with a lot of hard work I could have been on the US curling team for the XXI Olympics in 2010.
But it didn't pan out. Probably because I forgot about it as soon as the Olympics were over.
Last night I was watching the men's alpine and men's half-pipe and wondering what it would be like if my sons became super-bad-ass skiiers or snowboarders. Dude. I would totally knit myself a crazy-ass red-white-and-blue ski cap to go watch them. Totally.
And then it hit me, that I've crossed over from imagining myself as an Olympic athlete to imagining my kids as Olympic athletes. And you know what? It didn't really bother me.
I've also been noticing the heights and weights of the female athletes in this Olympics. These amazing women are waaay heavier than I think most Americans are socialized to think we should be. I'm going to see if I can find some hard data, and then post some of it, because I think it'll be a good reality check.
I am totally in the midst of my quadrennial obsession with curling. And women's hockey. There is a curling club nearby and I really want to try it! And reading your post, I just realized I did the same thing--imagined my kid as an Olympic athlete instead of myself! Although husband has her playing in the NBA, so I am figuring Summer rather than Winter Olympics.
Posted by: AmyinMotown | February 13, 2006 at 11:08 AM
About that balance thing, curling actually requires huge amounts of it. I was lucky enough to do a trial curling match at a local club open house, and man curling was tiring. I was panting after trying the broom sweeping thing(way harder than it looks!) and sported many bruises by the end of the evening from falling over on the ice. It was fun though! But definitely not easy.
Posted by: Mykal | February 13, 2006 at 11:25 AM
If I live in Canada again, I am joining a curling team.
Posted by: marybethorama | February 13, 2006 at 11:30 AM
i just like the name, 'curling'. it makes me think of taking a dull knife or scissor blade to those shiny curling ribbons and attaching them to balloons. that's what curling is to me: creating a room full of balloons trailing spiral streamers.
Posted by: wix | February 13, 2006 at 11:37 AM
Oh God, Moxie, last night we were watching and said almost the same thing: "What if one of our kids..." and I didn't even think of it as a shifting perspective.
Incidentally, I am dying to try curling!
Posted by: Katie/WannaBeMom | February 13, 2006 at 12:15 PM
Hey Moxie,
I met and had a conversation with Bill Clinton at the Bedford Movie Theater this past December. It was just us and,of course, the
Secret Service. It just so happened that we both took bathroom breaks - different movies-at the same time and ran into each other in the lobby. He was charming and friendly. I must say I was on Cloud Nine for a long time!!!
Posted by: Gretchen | February 13, 2006 at 01:09 PM
i have #8. i even practice my speech, usually in march. sorry about typing, burned thumb, only using 1 hand. 4 olympics, u might think abt shooting, or archery--look at gina davis. did u know i'm related to bode miller by marriage?
Posted by: Nikki S | February 13, 2006 at 01:52 PM
If you can find the stats about the weights and such of current women athletes, I'd LOVE to see them! If they are "normal" as opposed to what we women are being conditioned for, that could do a LOT to help women in general when it comes to self-esteem!
(Though I have to say, the Canadian Womens Hockey team were TINY - even with the half-mile's worth of padding!)
Posted by: Peach | February 13, 2006 at 02:46 PM
Am I crazy or cruel? When I watched the Opening Ceremonies, I said to Harpo (with total agreement from Cait), "I love you but I don't want you to be an Olympian." I want our kid to have a normal life without all the pressure and weirdness of super-acheivement. It seems to me that child stars, whether Hollywood or sports, don't get to experience the ordinary pleasures of life. Maybe that one moment with the gold is worth it all, but the other thing that concerns me is all the kids who WON'T be Olympians who get pushed and pressured through all of the competition and angst starting as young as 4 or 5 (like the soccer kids around here). If our kid wants to do sports, great. But I would hope we could find a way to do it that is balanced.
Posted by: Jen (yup, another one) | February 13, 2006 at 02:49 PM
I was noticing the same thing about the women athletes' weights (well, not in figure skating). I kept thinking "5'5" and 135 lbs? Now that's somethin' I can get behind!" Plus the attitudes of the lady half-pipe gals rock. I'm gonna push... I mean "encourage" Hannah to do that! :)
Posted by: julia | February 13, 2006 at 10:51 PM
Mostly I'd like to be the kind of person who wins the MacArthur Award. Oh, well.
Posted by: carosgram | February 14, 2006 at 08:32 AM
Bleh... my cousin's been training for the Olympics (Canada) for as long as I can remember. I think she's about 18 now. She might make it for 2010, or so her mother breathlessly gushes to everyone in a 60 mile radius. Honestly, I don't care because the last time I saw her, she was the most unbelievable bitch I'd ever met, the sort that really, you want to strangle on sight.
She's got a younger sister with Downs and she's mean, cruel and unconcerned. So's her mother, for that matter. Sometimes the younger girl doesn't get meals because they were all so busy preening over Little Star's recently exploits. Makes me sick.
The whole attitude of adoration/neglect over the two sisters is just... incredibly sad. And it's why I never watch the Olympics. I imagine too many mothers and fathers who have nothing better to do than glorify one child at the expense of any others.
Posted by: KT | February 14, 2006 at 09:52 AM
Yikes, KT. I wonder how many Olympics families are like that.
Posted by: Moxie | February 14, 2006 at 12:47 PM
I love your goals--wishing you a MacArthur, and Chow Yun-Fat to go with it--and like you, I am watching myself move to a place where my desires and dreams are more for my children than myself. Which, since I'm almost forty, is no doubt way overdue.
Posted by: Bihari | February 14, 2006 at 03:10 PM
Uh, Wyoming? Moxie, my FIL lives in Wyoming, and trust me, you are NOT a good fit for governor of that state.
You do remember Cheney's from Wyoming, right?
It's a lovely, great place, and there's some real good food in Laramie, and I adore Yellowstone, and I know I80 across Wyoming better than any Minnesota girl should, but Moxie, you are NEVER going to be governor of Wyoming.
Try North Dakota. They could get behind you. The Lutheran thing would help.
Posted by: Jody | February 14, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Total off track, but I gotta tell ya...for some reason the filter at work (I work at a high school) won't let me read your site. Um...it tells me why it is off limits...apparently the porn...it is just tooo riskee.
Thought you might be amused.
BWT as a native NoDak...they tend to frown on the progressives in the governor's mansion....but they have had the Dems in the house and senate for as long as can remember...maybe a possibility?
- Tammi
Posted by: tammi | February 15, 2006 at 12:54 AM
I just realized that I have never fantasized about being an Olympic athlete myself. I think I've always known that my athletic ability would sooner land me on Pluto than in the Olympics.
We fantasize all the time about the perfect Olympic sport for JR, though. Especially since he'll be eligible in two countries. Of course, if he's on a Kazakhstan Olympic team, we'll never get to see him on TV. Small price to pay, eh?
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