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Holy crap, that would have scared the bejeezus out of me. What in the WORLD was he thinking, saying something like that?! I'm so sorry that happened to you. SO sorry.

Honestly, I think you and your family are o.k.. It sounds like he was just saying whatever came into his head. The City has some pretty wacked out people, but I don't think that you put yourself in danger. You can avoid the area if you feel like you need to, and certainly keep an eye out for him. If you DO see him, don't go home ... call your DH or a friend and hop in a taxi and get out of the area. But honestly, it's very, VERY unlikely that he saw any personal information, and if your DH saw him at the cafe after you got home, then no, he didn't follow you home.

Again, I'm so sorry that happened to you. BIG hug!!


I'm sorry - how scary! I do think he was just talking and not planning. Of course, if you see him again I would suggest an alternate route, etc...but I doubt at the time you were working on the notes that he took the time to look or memorize information.

Sending prayers for extra protection your way.


I'm freaked out just reading about it.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but have you thought about calling the police? Not neccessarily because there's anything to report, but to get an "expert" opinion, if you will, on whether you should be worried?

Sending my equivalent of prayers your way. Blessings.


In all honesty, it's likely that he has completely forgotten about you and the conversation - he doesn't sounds as if he was 'all there' in some regards. If you see him again, in a context that isn't normal (i.e., standing near your home) I'd call the police and tell them - but otherwise, keep breathing. You're okay.


It's pretty common for young people -- immature people, distressed immature people -- to say outrageous things to see what kind of response they can get. I hope that's all it was.

You didn't tell him that you're a Christian, but you acted like one. (N.B. to all: Am not trying to imply that only Christians can be good people, just that Moxie was living her faith in a way I admire.) As Christians, as far as I can tell, we're supposed to be willing to open our hearts to strangers, and you did. This young man clearly needed to talk to someone about the loss of his child, someone who would appreciate his loss without condemning him for his choice, and you gave him that. But no one ever said that living the Christian life was easy or risk-free. I'm thinking/hoping/praying that this young man was just trying to shock you, not threaten you.


Oh, honey. How terrifying for you! I agree with your other posters that he was probably just trying to shock you, but that doesn't make it any less upsetting. I'll keep you and your boys in my thoughts.



I'm going with the "not all the way there, probably doesn't even remember you anymore" theory. Combined with a touch of the admittedly contradictory theory, "he was just trying to freak you out."

Sorry about that, though. Ick.


You did absolutely nothing wrong in just being friendly, Moxie. That guy was a freak.


Yeah, I can see how that would be unsettling. However, from your description, I would guess it was one of those "trying to shock the nice lady" things, not "I'm going to stalk her" things.


That is the scariest thing ever but I think he was just messing with you.

Sounds like an ass, though.

You're far too nice, by the way.


de-lurking to say that would have been really scary and horrible. however, as a social worker who's worked with pretty hard core offenders, it's incredibly unusual for someone who talks about it like that to do anything - the ones who you have to worry about are the ones that don't say much at all. as others have commented, he was just trying to be freaky-scary and is probably just a bit unhinged generally but no real risk. i'd be a little careful, but try not to panic. sending hugs though!


I'm so sorry this happened to you. I think since El Grande saw him back there with friends that you're probably fine. I agree - he's probably forgotten the whole thing. Ick. Creepy people.

Brooklyn Girl

I don't blame you for being freaked out--that would have terrified me too. I agree with the other commenters; he's more than likely moved on. Sorry that he left such a creepy wake.


I dated a guy in college who told me while I was at his house that he often wondered what it would feel like to take someone's life. Um, FREAK. I dumped him the next day and was freaked out for a month.

Sounds like this dude was a college kid feeling bad about the abortion, and maybe trying to get a rise out of you.

I would have been freaked too. And I know what you mean about having two kids...they are easier to keep track of than more! As my husband says, "When there are only two kids, they don't outnumber the parents!" :)


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