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« Potty Training Pre-Work | Main | Judgment »


Jen (yup, another one)

I guess my one thought is, I can't see how to make this work if you work outside the home. Any thoughts on that?


It would depend on your childcare situation. If you had a nanny or in-home childcare it'd be fine, because you'd just have to get the caregiver on the same page about leaving the pants off for a few hours at a time. (You'd do all the bathroom talk and early prep while you were home in the evening and on weekends before you started the pants-free time.) You could still do all the talk and pants-free time on weekends if you use insitutional daycare. Lots of daycare centers have their own policies on potty-training (some start at 18 months or 2 years, for example), so you'd just have to coordinate with them.


I didn't potty-train my son at all. When he was 2.5 we bought some underwear but when I asked him if he wanted to wear them he said no. Fast forward to a month after his 3rd birthday. He woke up, asked to wear his underwear and we never looked back. He never had one accident. That's what I'm planning on doing with #2. He'll be 3 at the end of March. He knows he has underwear ready for him. He has pee'd in the potty a few times but insists he still wants diapers. He'll come around. :)

Jen (yup, another one)

It would be out-of-the-house daycare, but I don't yet know exactly what setting (daycare in someone else's home or institutional). I had thought of essentially doing it part time as you suggest, but thought the inconsistency might derail the project. I teach, so I am quite aware that kids can maintain disparate rule sets for different environments... but at 18-24 months? I teach older kids, so don't know about that. What do you think?


I guess I ahve never thought of how we trained my daughter. We had a time rpessure--she had to to be fully trained within 6 days of her third birthday to start school. So when she was about 2, we started. It was slow, low pressure, lots of naked time. And we were so close when her baby brother was born. That derailed us for a month or two. But by ~27 months she was completely done. And I thought I was late, but now that I know more parents and little brothers, we seem to have been early.

Cat, Galloping

I'm just wondering, after all that talk about poop and pee during the training process, how do you get them to *stop* talking about it and *stop* wanting to watch you go? Because I am picturing some very awkward situations!


I had everyone tell me to try and just start putting my daughter on the potty every 30 minutes. She had never before said the word diaper until we started trying that.

So we just backed off and didn't talk about it. Sorta had videos and books for her to look at if she wanted too. And her daddy, unbeknownst to me, did a little bit of "psychological warfare". He put her to bed every night and when he'd go change her diaper for the evening he'd talk to her about how diapers are yucky because they hold the pee and poo in them near your privates, and how going in the potty is much better.

Well one morning about two weeks before her second birthday she told me "I don't wear diaper" I asked her where she was going to go to pee then, and she said "Toilet" (like DUH Mom!) and I mean she had accidents but in a week she was fully potty trained day and night and would tell us when she needed to go.

I tell everyone now that I don't believe so much in "Potty Training" It's not like a cat or dog where you can actually get them used to a routine and where they NEED to go to the bathroom. And rather a kid will do it roughly when they are ready to.


P, boy are you brave to live on the edge! Hee.

Cat, since you have a boy the poop talk will continue until he's at least 14, from what I hear. Once we knew El C knew what we meant when we said we were pooping, we started asking him to leave the bathroom so we could have "a little privacy." After a few tries he was fine with that, and he asks for "a little privacy" if he's pooping, too. Peeing is not as big a deal for us, although I've sometimes asked for a little privacy then just to have a couple of seconds by myself.


I use a method similar to yours, I think. We don't make a point of talking about elemination, though. It just comes naturally at about 18 months and we're just as open about it as anything else: we talk, they come in the bathroom, etc.

I also start mine a tad later (2yrs, 1 or 2 mos) and we do it all at once. One day everything below the waist comes off and we go for it, lol! One difference in my method is that the child must help clean up all messes. There's no scolding, just matter-of-fact, 'oops, you had an accident, let me get you something to clean up with" and we talk about how we should go in the pot, etc.

My son was completely dry during the day after a week and dry at night a week and a half later. My daughter took a bit longer: 3 1/2 weeks total.

Of course I have the advantage of being home with mine. I really like the done-in-a-few-weeks thing. I would go mad having it drag out for months.

I'm getting ready to do my third child and I hope it's as stress-free and quick as the first two!
LOL, we'll see!


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  • My expertise is in helping people be who they want to be, with a specialty in how being a parent fits into everything else. I like people. I like parents. I think you're doing a fantastic job. The nitty-gritty of what you do with your kids is up to you, although I'm happy to post questions here to get data points of how you could try approaching different stages, because, let's face it, this shit is hard. As for me, I have two kids who sleep through the night and can tie their own shoes. I've been a married SAHM, a married freelance WAHM, a divorcing WOHM, a divorced WOHM, and now a WAHM again. I'm not buying the Mommy Wars and I'll come sit next to you no matter how you're feeding your kid. When in doubt, follow the money trail. And don't believe the hype.
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