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  • MoxieTopics
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« Q&A: high needs toddler | Main | Q&A: toddler prefers one parent »



Moxie, thank you SO much for addressing the "one-size-fits-all" mentality. I called my ped's office because the twins weren't napping AT ALL. I suspected it was either their 6 month growth spurt, teething or both. The nurse asked how many naps my kids were taking and what time they went to bed. I told her and she immediately chastised me that my children slept too much. I wasn't buying what she was selling and got off the phone ASAP. The next day, I discovered Hyland's Teething Tablets and my kids have been sleeping better ever since.

We thought, too, that the whole self-soothing thing was uber important but some kids just need more parent contact, more Mommy time, just more. Like our kids. And once we realized that, we all started sleeping better.


Since I wrote the question, I’ve just been keeping doing what I’m doing and he’s getting to be a better sleeper! We’re still using your “Malcolm X” method (which cracks my husband up every time I mention it) for naps, but night sleep is getting way better. And, when his sleep is disturbed at night (like by us coming into the room to go to bed), he is now managing to settle himself back down to sleep (unless he's hungry, which seems reasonable enough to me).

And, I agree with you about the "all babies are the same" mentality that "experts" tend to promote. I don't go to sleep the same way as my best friend, so why would I think that my baby is identical to any other baby? Anyway, we've just sort of come to the conclusion that following our gut has gotten us a happy, healthy kid so far, so we're just going to keep doing that.

And now when asked if my baby is on a "schedule" yet, I just say, "no" and change the subject.

Lisa C.

Moxie, I don't think I love you, I KNOW I love you. :)

The Moosh never slept as an infant, or if he did, he only slept in arms and even then you didn't get more than 20 minutes or so out of him. It was HARD. I don't do CIO or FIO, because I can't stand to hear my baby in distress, so I never got any time to myself, and at the time, I thought I was in hell and hated it.

Now I can see that even though it was difficult, we did the right thing. At 2.5, the Moosh is a fairly decent sleeper. I love cosleeping and it works well for us, so I am not looking to change anything. Good thing, because he is still not ready to sleep by himself.

If we had ever tried CIO (as our former ped tried to get us to do for MONTHS) it would have failed and we would have all been miserable. I'm glad we never fell for any of the one-size-fits-all sleep scenario (LLL was a big help with that). I don't regret what we did in the least now.

I also think that there are underlying and reasonable needs that wake kids up in the middle of the night. The Moosh still gets hungry. He wakes up and asks for food. I recently read on a message board that a little girl woke up when her bladder was full and she needed to pee, even though she was wearing a diaper. How did the parents find this out? She told them when she was potty learning. I would not be surprised if the Moosh wakes up when his bladder is full, too. Then he realizes that he is hungry. I now wonder if "good sleepers" are more prone to bedwetting even after they've potty learned because they don't wake when their bladders are full. Food for thought.

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  • My expertise is in helping people be who they want to be, with a specialty in how being a parent fits into everything else. I like people. I like parents. I think you're doing a fantastic job. The nitty-gritty of what you do with your kids is up to you, although I'm happy to post questions here to get data points of how you could try approaching different stages, because, let's face it, this shit is hard. As for me, I have two kids who sleep through the night and can tie their own shoes. I've been a married SAHM, a married freelance WAHM, a divorcing WOHM, a divorced WOHM, and now a WAHM again. I'm not buying the Mommy Wars and I'll come sit next to you no matter how you're feeding your kid. When in doubt, follow the money trail. And don't believe the hype.
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