El Chico and I had a good, but completely exhausting, trip to my parents’ house last week.
The first day we were there I met my brother’s girlfriend. My dad and I put her through the ultimate form of family hazing by forcing her to watch "The Lawrence Welk Show" on PBS with us (it’s the amateur anthropologist’s dream). Heh. El Chico now walks around the house tap-dancing like Arthur Duncan, though, so I might have fixed my own wagon.
The next day we went to see my dad play his clarinet in the polka band he’s in. A local news crew showed up and filmed El Chico dancing to Grandpa’s band, and it ended up on the 6 o’clock news. With a voiceover saying, "This is El Chico. He’s 2 years old, and his mother told us they came all the way from New York City to hear this polka band." Yeah.
The next few days my mom and I spent alternating between playing with El Chico and cleaning out her breakfast nook so we could choose paint, prime, and paint. I did all the painting, and it took me three (3) coats of primer to cover the forest green color (why? why?!) that the previous owners had used. I spent too much time on a ladder (I’m afraid of heights) and I didn’t even get to the woodwork. At the same time, one of my mom’s friends was building a picket fence around part of my parents’ yard to make it safer for El Chico. The day after he finished, El Chico figured out how to open the gate from the inside.
We also visited my great-great aunt in the nursing home (she was wearing a strange red wig someone had given her), my grandma (who bought El Chico a bunch of fall clothes from Target—yay Grandma!), and a family friend who is 93 years old (and increasingly deaf). So it was All Old Ladies, All The Time.
I pulled a quad muscle from climbing up and down the ladder so much, and I got stung on the foot by a bee at a garage sale.
Then my mom’s sister showed up to wallpaper my mom’s bathroom. When she saw the paint we’d chosen for the breakfast nook, she decided she could do the bathroom and my mom’s kitchen in two days, so she took my mom out to pick wallpaper for the kitchen, too. Then she came back and highlighted my hair--probably better than my stylist here would have done.
It was probably the strangest visit home I’ve had in years, because 1) calling my family "relaxed" would be quite euphemistic--there was more work done in that house in one week than in the previous 5 years, and 2) on Wednesday I realized my period was several days late, so I peed on stick just to torture myself, and it was positive. So I’m pregnant. And an ass for testing so early and getting a BFN at 10 dpo. A pregnant ass. A cranky, acne-ridden, ravenous, pregnant ass.
So. Yeah. How was everyone else’s vacation?