The Rock and I have broken up. Our relationship was going really well when we actually saw each other, but you can't hold something together when you see each other maybe every six weeks, if you're lucky. I made a last-ditch attempt to convince my ex to move to the city The Rock lives in, and offered some major, major concessions, but my ex likes his job too much here. So we broke up, because there's no future for us together. (He's in the same non-moving situation I am, with a child and an ex who won't budge.)
I am so, so, so sad. The Rock matched me in so many ways, and I could have been thrilled with him for the rest of my life. Honestly, I haven't felt this sad since my heart was broken the first time when i was 16. I think it's because I feel like it was this stupid logistical thing that broke us up, not a problem with us. It's just so Victorian. Or Gothic. I'm not sure which one. But I'm in deep, sad, pain.
I just had the realization, though, that when I was still married and unable to feel any emotion, I couldn't even imagine this. It is truly good to be in emotional pain, because it means I'm free of my marriage, in mind. Even if my ex-husband controls where I live.
Oh, Moxie, I'm so sorry. That's a tough situation to be in. I'm thinking of you.
Posted by: Julie | April 26, 2009 at 07:24 PM
Oh Sweetie I'm sorry. I give you a lot of credit for realizing it was an impossible situation and not trying to hang on.
Posted by: Jill | April 26, 2009 at 07:58 PM
So, so sorry... that is really rough.
Posted by: Ruta | April 26, 2009 at 08:44 PM
Definitely Victorian. You should drown yourself in some vast novels.
Posted by: Anna | April 26, 2009 at 09:01 PM
That sucks. I'm sooo sorry, but am glad you found a teeny thin silver lining in all of this. Hugs!
Posted by: pennifer | April 26, 2009 at 09:06 PM
I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Ally | April 26, 2009 at 09:25 PM
I am so sorry.
Posted by: Kathy B. | April 26, 2009 at 09:32 PM
I'm so sorry things didn't work out, Moxie. I hope your pain eases soon.
Posted by: Kate | April 26, 2009 at 09:43 PM
Sigh... I am so sorry. That really fucking sucks.
Posted by: Cecily | April 26, 2009 at 09:50 PM
:(
So sorry to hear. Very Victorian.
Posted by: Abacaxi Mamao | April 27, 2009 at 03:10 AM
{{{Moxie}}}
Posted by: Madeleine | April 27, 2009 at 09:24 AM
Unless there is a vampire side to this tale, I'd say Victorian over Gothic. Really sorry that it didn't work out - lots of us are geographically bound with our kids and ex's - but it will eventually work out the way it should as long as you keep being so honest with yourself. You've come so far!
Posted by: andrea | April 27, 2009 at 09:29 AM
Damn. Sorry to hear that. I know it must be tough. Hang in there.
Posted by: Amy H | April 27, 2009 at 10:49 AM
That just really really sucks. I'm so sorry that it couldn't work out.
Posted by: caramama | April 27, 2009 at 12:04 PM
How very sad. I'm sorry to hear it.
Exes. Yeah.
Posted by: PiquantMolly | April 27, 2009 at 02:05 PM
I'm so sorry Moxie! That really really sucks.
Posted by: Charisse | April 27, 2009 at 03:25 PM
Moxie, I'm so sorry. I hope you've got girlfriends on hand to bring you ice cream and alcohol.
Posted by: Summer | April 27, 2009 at 03:28 PM
One of the most panic-inducing moments of my own divorce was realizing that someone else now controls where I can and cannot live. Makes me feel like a caged rat.
I'm so sorry.
Posted by: Tessie | April 27, 2009 at 05:15 PM
Sorry to hear the bad news.
Hang in there.
Posted by: Lee | April 27, 2009 at 06:50 PM
why do you have to make your ex move to move somewhere? Surely your divorce documents can't shackle you to the same city as he's in???????
Posted by: Jill | April 28, 2009 at 12:24 AM
When people divorce they are stuck. If he asked you to move to a strange city and find a new job would you just say "sure!"
Posted by: Judy P | April 28, 2009 at 01:22 AM
correction - when people with kids divorce they are stuck.
You could move - you'd just have to give up your kids. Not an option, I'm sure so it isn't your ex who has you trapped it's your kids. And that's okay - kids trap us in so many ways.
Posted by: Judy P | April 28, 2009 at 01:24 AM
Moxie, I'm so sorry, and at the same time just way impressed with your honesty and self-awareness.
I wish I could be as lucid as you are when facing the difficulties life throws at me.
Posted by: parisienne mais presque | April 28, 2009 at 08:03 AM
I'm so sorry...wish it could be easier...
Posted by: bobbi | April 28, 2009 at 08:43 AM
Oh no! Just when things were looking so good, right? Here's hoping the knot in your stomach leaves quickly. Maybe it would help if instead of thinking your ex controls where you live (or you control where he lives) to think of it like: your family circumstances control where you live. That's true for a lot of people, whether it be divorce, job security, ailing parents or siblings who need care. Keeping your children well supported by making it easy to maintain a relationship with both parents is a blessing and a curse, and it's where you're at right now. It will be okay.
Posted by: imanitsud | April 28, 2009 at 10:39 AM