What I mean about no civil marriage

I don't think it should be neceaary. I think people should have health benefits because they're people, not because they're married to someone who has them. I think you should be able to designate whoever you want to get your death benefits, to make decisions for you if you're incapacitated, to be at your bedside in the hospital.

Tying financial, health care, and legal rights in to civil marriage discriminates against gay and lesbian people, sure. But even if we advance as a society and have same-sex civil marriage in a few years, we're still discriminating against single people by making all these "benefits" (can we just call them rights?) available only to people with partners.

Comments

[wix]

The first read-through of your last post did make me go "huh?", but when I read it again, I got what you were trying to say (which you've clarified here).

I may be running off at a 30° angle from your idea here, but I do think that there should be some kind of non-religious marriage alternative, so I'm not sure that we're of the same mind on the topic.

[Moxie]

Depends on what you see as the purpose of the marriage alternative. In my mind, it should be a way to mark your relationship as permanent for yourself and your people (friends and family), so whether it's a ceremony that invokes a higher power or one that gathers people together to support you as you make a declaration, it's what I'd classify as a "religious" marriage.

Is that what you mean, or something different?

[wix]

Yes, that's what I mean, you described it perfectly. Whew, I'm glad you can read my mind from all the way up there!

[Brooklyn Girl]

I see what you're saying, but I think it's useful to see marriage as a civil act and as such, it should be subject to the separation of church and state and thus, beyond the grasp of the religious right.

Although I was married by a non-demoniational minister (which was easier to arrange than a judge, say), I'd classify my own wedding ceremony as civil (though it falls under your description of a "religious" ceremony).

[liz]

Moxie, I couldn't have said it better.

I was finally able to explain to a far-right religious co-worker why Virginia's "anti-gay-marriage" amendment is such a bad idea. It sets out to ban all contracts that confer the rights of marriage on non-married people.

So, I said, "Let's say your elderly aunt is sick and wants you to have her medical power of attorney. No can do. That's a contract that confers a right of marriage."

[Meramoo]

Rereading this, I'm not sure if this is exactly what you meant, but I get my benefits because my boyfriend's employer offers domestic partner benefits to both same & opposite sex couples. It's taxed and all, so not quite as good a deal as if we were married, but it's sure better than buying it on my own.