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Kether

Oh Moxie you made me laugh.
Toward the end of my pregnancy I got wedged in a student desk at work. It was humiliating. I thought that maintenence was going to have to come and cut me out of it, but with the help of a few coworkers we wrenched me from it. I was afraid to sit anywhere I might get stuck after that.

Heather Ann

Thank G_d other women humiliate themselves too! I thought it was just me. Thanks for making me feel better about my 31 week huge, ungainly, waddles like a duck self.

Sarah

Oh my god, the image of a pg. woman rolling off a couch onto the floor and pushing up from all fours in a BANK in NYC has got to be one of the funniest things I've imagined in a long time!
I'm sorry you were humiliated, but that made me laugh! Am I a bad person?
Not much longer now, girl. Hang in there!

Lisa V

I remember when I was like 38 weeks and huge (who am I kidding, I was huge before the second line went all the way pink) I was at the grocery store. I was standing in the check out line paying when a little kid ran around my legs and out the door. The Dad actually tried to squeeze behind me to go after the kid. My huge belly was pushed into the check writing stand (I am sure that's where that dent on my daughter's forehead came from) and he and I wiggled and tried to get free like two fat boys trying to make their way through a narrow doorway. God I miss a reason to be fat.

El Grande

Even when you're rolling around the floor in a busy public place, you are one hot tamale.

Summer

EL Grande, it's that kind of attitude that got Moxie into this situation in the first place. (Actually, I am much impressed by this show of husbandly support.)

What is it about NYC that makes asking for help verboten? In DC, I find that I'm often offered help without asking for it. When I was pregnant, there was only ONCE that I wasn't offered a seat on the Metro -- and that one time, I muttered (as it to myself) "what, no one can give a pregnant lady a seat?", and instantly three people stood up. When I'm out with the stroller, I've been offered help getting it up and down stairs, and people generally hold doors open for me. I feel comfortable asking for help from strangers when I need it, which is almost always graciously given. Is it a Southern thing? A reflection that DC is a small town at heart? Or is it just that I stand out enough just being caucasian that I don't mind identifying myself as someone who requires assistance? Once again, Moxie, you've shown me that although I live in a city, it's just not the same as living in The City.

"Signal failure" reminded me of one time, many years ago, when I was riding the Metro to Georgetown, and a man at the back of the car I was in stood up from his seat, clutched his chest, and fell over. Someone near him got on the emergency intercom to the driver. When we pulled into the next station, I knew for certain that the guy was already dead when I saw the station security guards walking up to our car very sloooooowly. They came on to the car, examined the man, and left. The train sat at the platform for five minutes, ten minutes, and then finally the conductor announced that the train was now out of service because a passenger was "sick" and had to be taken to the "hospital". The living passengers, myself included, poured out onto the platform. The lights on the train were extinguished, and it whooshed out of the station with the "sick" man still on board. The station in question was no more than a half-mile away from two major university hospitals, so I'd think that if the man actually WAS sick but still breathing, they'd have pulled him off of the train and bundled him into an ambulance. I've always wondered what they did with that dead guy. Did they take him back to the maintenance yard near Union Station?

The oddest part of the tale is that the guy I was with wrote a love song for me about the dead man on the train, and how he didn't care because it meant that he got to spend those extra minutes trapped on the train with me. Top that romance, El Grande.

Becki

Hang in there. When I was eight months pregnant NASA called to say the Shuttle had spotted me from space.

wix

man, 33 weeks already?? it seems like just last week you were trying to figure out how to tell your girlfriend that you were expecting.

Moxie

wix, I just went over to see that same girlfriend's baby this week. He's very small and very sweet, and she seems to almost be back with us (you may recall she was having serious problems with self-involvement). I was kind of hoping this would happen, but not counting on anything. When I told her about our other friend having two miscarriages during the time she was pregnant (including waiting for a D&C during her shower), she started crying. Maybe the Johnson & Johnson people *are* right with that stupid "Having a baby changes everything" line.

Summer, you are right that it's El Grande's appreciation of me got me into this situation in the first place. OTOH, if I'm this miserable and useless, I might as well be having sex.

Thanks for the "when I was pregnant and fat" stories. They made me laugh. Does anyone have any "when I was pregnant and so exhausted all I could do was fall asleep on the couch during Clifford the Big Red Dog" stories?

Carrie

I've fallen asleep watching PBS...not sure if it was Clifford or not, but it was some cartoon. I felt so bad, since my 2 year old son had to wake me up.

lynne

I think shame on the other people waiting in line who did not do the decent thing and give you a hand up.

Weird isn't it how we all get closed up and embarrassed about invading each others privacy in crowded cities. I live in London and we have this "I'm not really here mentality" when were shmooshed up together in intimate positions on the tube (subway). And why is it some of the people in my appartment block are too shy/snooty/hyper-polite to say hello properly when I meet them in the hall?

Lothar

The first one made me think of Sweeney Todd. Since those meat pies went over so well...The "suck it" cake.. How do YOU eat YOUR oreos? Sucking on them wouldn't be my first chioce but hey..And the last one made me wonder, just what was it that must not be told to anyone? And I like the idea of threatening someone by sending them a very frilly, non-intimidating-looking cake. Clever. I'll have to try that sometime.

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