El Grande brought my attention to this question on Slate.com this morning. It's to advice columnist Dear Prudence, and the questioner asks how she should announce her pregnancy to a friend she knows has been having problems getting pregnant. Prudence replies, "Your sensitivity to your friend's fertility issues will carry the day." She tells the woman to tell her friend but say that she'd be even happier if the friend were pregnant, too.
What do you think of this advice? It seems kind of incomplete, to me. I've been thinking a lot about this lately. My best friend is taking a break from IVF for a few months, but knows there's no way she'll ever get pregnant without it. My SIL is about to do another FET round (she had PGD for a genetic disease she carries). Four of my friends have had miscarriages in the last few months. And El Grande and I are ready to be pregnant again, and will probably not have any problems doing so (if past performance is any reliable indicator of future gains, which we know it's not).
So I guess what I'm wondering is:
If a fertile woman gets pregnant, how can she tell her infertile loved ones in a way that is the least hurtful?
My instinct tells me that the pregnant one should tell her friend as soon as she'd tell anyone else (not delaying to "cushion" the news). But what else? I'd really like to be able to talk about this so those of us who can get pregnant simply by "shagging" (thanks, Tertia) can be as aware and sensitive as possible.
I welcome all advice.