About Me

MoxieTopics

  • MoxieTopics
    Short PDF ebooks on specific parenting topics, in-depth and focused

Coaching and Workshops

Click through to Amazon.com

Moxie's reading

The 10-year-old's reading

MoxieTopics

  • MoxieTopics
    Short PDF ebooks on specific parenting topics, in-depth and focused

« Limits | Main | Q&A: thumb-sucking »

Comments

Kate

I agree with Moxie.

My brother is 12 years younger than I am, and I vividly remember him as great fun at age 5. At the dinner table he'd just talk. And talk. And talk some more. About everything. And most of it was really funny. He was also very energetic and enthusiastic about everything, always up for a hike or a trip to the store or to go with me to walk the dog.

I left for college when he was 6, but that year that he was in Kg and I was in 12th grade was a kick.

clkl

Hello Laura,

Short answer: Yes. Something magical happens at around four years old.

Longer answer:
I'm a mother of five, with the youngest just over three years old right now. With my "data-set", three and a half is the hardest stretch of the toddler-through-preschool stage.

I have always enjoyed the "Txxxxxx Twos", cheering their emerging independence and personality. By the time we come along to 3.5, however, the gleeful "NO" of the 2 year old just seems like whiny negativity.

Around four years old, the grumpy knee-jerk complaining and rejecting clouds dissipate, and there is a sunrise of competence. Everyone feels better.

If you don't have them already, the Gessel Institute books (Your One Year Old, Your Two Year Old, Your Three Year Old, etc.) are very helpful.

Good luck! There's much to enjoy at this stage, and (begin the truest cliché) it goes so fast! (end the truest cliché)

All the best,
CLKL

Christi

Seconded. Although I think Moxie's posted before about developmental rough spots that can occur at the half-year and year points. But once that passes, four is much much better.

Jody

Oh, I don't know. Are there siblings in the mix? If there are no siblings, then I would bet that four and five will be huge improvements -- although there's still plenty of push-pull "I love you, I hate you" going on, especially once you throw kindergarten into the mix and everyone is stressed and anxious, if only for a few weeks, or the months leading up to it.

Honestly, I know in my head that three was a hard age (I loved 18-36 months myself) but every age has had its challenges for me, and once I get over the excitement of "THAT isn't a problem anymore," I'm usually pretty exhausted by whatever each age's challenges are.

That having been said, if you can get your morning routine off-loaded to the kids (YOU make the bed, dress yourself, brush your teeth, and bring me the comb), there's something so lovely about that, and for us, it started right around four-and-a-half.

I don't know. This is a tough question for me to answer in retrospect. But maybe it's just because THREE of any age are tough? I have to say, the fighting lately just wears me to a thread.

Maria

My daughter is just over 3 and a half now, and about 4 weeks ago made such a sudden and wonderful shift – so many things that were a huge struggle for 6 months or MORE are just not anymore: brushing teeth, going for walks, going to sleep, getting dressed… so many of those daily battles of wills have turned into just another thing we do everyday so that we can get to the fun stuff.

This is not to say that everything is easy breezy now, and I certainly don't expect it to continue moving forward with no bumps in the road, but it does feel like I got to a light at the end of a long, frustrating 3 year old tunnel, so take heart!

Frustrated

OK, this post rings true with me because it sums up nicely the six-eight questions I was going to send moxie this week.

My inability to cope with my almost four-year-old is just driving me crazy. I expected three to be tough, but after ten months of it, I'm going out of my gourd. He craves control...if I give him some, he abuses it...so he gets a timeout and we both end up mad and crying.

I've tried conversations like, "You can choose to listen or choose to miss ____" but that doesn't work. My recent tack involves talking about consequences and he tells me that "those are your consequences, not mine".

To add fuel to the fire, I'm pregnant and spend so much time wondering what the hell we were thinking. My confidence is shot and I am just not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

My SIL tells me that on the 4th birthday he'll magically turn into a prince. I hope so.

Jo-Ann

Thank you so much fror posting this. I have a boy who will be 4 in late September and he is going through something very similar.

My husband and I have been really depressed about his opposional behavior.

thanks!!!!!!!!! we are not alone!!!

Alice

Take heart. It can be as if a switch was flipped (but more likely you will one day suddenly realize that you are no longer fighting the way you were). I am right in the midst of this, with two girls who are 4 1/2 months apart, so right now 4.1 and 3.9. 4.1 is sooo much easier than just a few months ago. Not that everything is perfect but the extremes are mellowing. I do feel like there was a particularly difficult stretch just before it changed, as if the tantrums were being tested once more before giving them up. So maybe your frustration is about a developmental shift that is about to occur. For your sake, I hope so.

Amy

So far in my house "Kindergarten" has been the magic age. My son was unbearable until he started Kindergarten and then this miraculous transformation came over him. I'm hoping my theory is true as my "very difficult" 4, almost 5, yr old daughter starts Kindergarten in the fall and I'm not sure we'll all survive one more minute of her wretchedness beyond the first week of school.

Why Kindergarten? Well, I think there's something empowering to them about being in "school". Perhaps the expectations are moved up a notch... they are treated in a certain way... more personal responsibility? I'm sure others could come up with more reasons. Seriously, my son was night and day...

I know this doesn't help the mother of a 3 yr old... but in my home, 4 yrs old was even worse than 3, but 5 and on has been pure heaven. Good luck.

hedra

there's a brain transition (from emotional to logical) around age 3-3.5, if I recall correctly. It messes with their function for a while, and then, the other side seems to 'come on line' and ta-DA! Wonder child! Curiousity abounds, anxiety reduces, they're wonders. They learn rules easily (compared to earlier), they have apparent internal structure and discipline, it is fun and interesting.

Around age 7, they flip back again, and lose all those nice structures, forget everything, start being snotty again (oh, the groaning and eye rolling and back-talk and foot dragging!), but it is normal, and if you walk them back through the rules (or drag them through), they learn it again, and at around 8-8.5 they start clicking along again. (Fortunately I had a teacher-friend who warned me about 'the dreaded loss of structure at 7' - kids suddenly couldn't remember to put their pencils away even if they'd done it every day for the previous three years...).

So, yes, have loved 4 in general, and 5 not so bad either, six is entertaining, seven ... not looking forward to seven... but then back again before 9. We're at 9 now, so we'll see what swings where next. I just keep telling myself it isn't their fault, it is their age (heck, I tell THEM that about each other, too - your brother will not be a pest like that forever, he's just X age right now).

Kateri

I heard this too, and when my daughter turned four, I kept waiting until the Magic happened. And it finally has, she is now 4.5 and in the past month it seems like something changed over and all of her babyness is gone. She is fully a child now. I like it. I can already tell that the next few years might be my favortie time of parenthoood. Her thoughts suddenly became so insightful and interesting.

Rachel

Laura, you are not alone! When my son turned two I wondered what all the fuss about the terrible two's was about. He was never terrible. And then 3 hit and he became quite the challenge! I have to say that about 3.5 he started to even out and then became quite delightful again around 4. Now at 5 he is a joy to be around. He is funny, helpful, kind and full of information! Obviously he has his off days but for the most part we have really happy days. This is especially encouraging for me because I also have a 3 year old daughter who is kicking our butts! There are many days that it is a fight from the minute she gets up (I want Cheerios and then when you give them to her she cries b/c she really wanted Shreddies...) until she goes to bed. I have to constantly remind myself that it will get better.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that at 3 they have more advanced cognitive and reasoning processes and that they are becoming more independent. At the same time, they still have some physical and verbal limitations (particularly obvious when they have an older role model they seek to copy) and tend to flip flop between their desire to be independant and a need to still be dependant (ie. the struggle between "I'm a big girl" and "I'm just little") and cared for. I can see a lot of frustration in my daughter. I know that once she passes a few more milestones that life will get a lot easier for all of us.

It will get better soon and then before you know it, you will forget how bad it felt at the time and just enjoy when your child is at.

Joy

To Frustrated: I have a four year old and just had another baby in November. The four year old has gone through quite a bit of 'i need attention' stuff, beginning even before her sister was born. (She is also the middle child, and exhibiting classic middle- child symptoms.), but on the flip side, she just adores her little sister. She loves being the 'big girl' now and that she's able to help with the baby. I think it helps her to feel she's needed and important. She still has an occasional meltdown, but usually only when she's overtired and needs to rest. I think it having an older sibling helps deflect a little toddler angst- at least it's not always directed at you.

I'm constantly having to remind myself to focus on the positive, count my blessings, and not give any creedence to a toddler's angry 'I HATE YOU!!!'s. I think the best response to that is, 'That's okay that your angry and feel that way now, but I Love You anyway.' Another good excercise is to sit down at night when the epic battle that is bedtime is over and everyone's asleep and try to remember a few moments that day that were precious and sweet. It helps to go to sleep with a mind filled with positive thoughts, and reduces the dread of waking up to more battles the next day. It's difficult now, but someday you'll catch them playing together and just having the best time that only siblings can have together... and it'll all be worth it.

Kted

This is my first encounter with this site, and I'm quite amazed at all the posts about how much 'trouble' people are having with their babies and toddlers. Everyone wants to know how to get them to sleep, eat, etc.,(particularly sleep) but completely reject all advice books other than those with a purely 'follow-the-child, attachment parenting, focus to them. I have nothing against attachment parenting, but I think when you take the approach that the child knows best and follow your (your child's really?) instincts, then you should probably be the type that really doesn't mind when your baby is up 3 or 4 times during the night still at 12 months. Which is basically what advice-givers such as Sears are saying - that it's normal and to be expected and it's perfectly OK that you won't get a full night's sleep for years. I understand how that can work for some people and be unfathomable for others but it's striking to me how no one here seems to see the coorelation between the laissez-faire parenting approach and all the 'issues' these parents are having. It's not an issue if that's the way you've chosen to have things, is it?

Rudyinparis

Huh. Odd how people walk away from things with different perceptions, Kted. I've always thought this site was quite varied in the parenting approaches discussed. I would say most people here (myself included) don't desire to use hardcore Ferber methods or let a baby cry for an extended amount of time, but apart from that, there are so many different methods here, and this is such an accepting community--to me, always a refuge from dogmatic parenting sites. I definitely disagree that this community follows a doctrine that "child knows best" in the way you suggest.

Rudyinparis

Huh. Odd how people walk away from things with different perceptions, Kted. I've always thought this site was quite varied in the parenting approaches discussed. I would say most people here (myself included) don't desire to use hardcore Ferber methods or let a baby cry for an extended amount of time, but apart from that, there are so many different methods here, and this is such an accepting community--to me, always a refuge from dogmatic parenting sites.

Amy

Hedra, thank you for that info about 7-8 yrs. I keep thinking WTF with my daughter...she was so "past" this stuff already! Just as my son got easier at 4, she got difficult at 8!! Phew! I'm not delirious, it is actually happening.

Amy

oh, and it may (or may not... depends on your level of optimism) help to realize that EVERYTHING happens in cycles IMO. When I realize I'm butting heads with my kids, I just tell myself "We're coming around to the Other Side of this cycle, and in a few months we'll be back to the fun/easy/good side". It helps. For the most part. Ying/yang and all that.

holly

Kted,

First, AP is not "laissez-faire." Read more about it.

Secondly, the parents who write in to this site, do so seeking advice, support, and other viewpoints on very COMMON parenting issues. Implying that their challenges are ALL their own making is counterproductive and incorrect. People write in here because they care and want the best for their families. Period.

Lastly, I do think that there are a variety of parenting styles and approaches represented on this site. I find most of the advice here to be child-focused, and maybe that is what is throwing you off. "Child-focused" is not just letting the child do whatever they want - it is understanding where the child is functioning in his cognitive/emotional/physical development and having expectations and guidence techniques which are appropriate, and ultimately, the most productive at that stage.

I have found this site, Moxie's info, and the posts of her readers so helpful over the past year and a half. I hope that it can also open up some other viewpoints and useful information for you and your family.

Julie

I think the parents who visit this site regularly have strong feelings about the diversity of parenting styles among the group. I know I do. I would not consider myself an "attachment parenting" parent - yet I come to this site every day seeking advice and new knowledge among a group of people who are going through the same things I am. I never co-slept with my son, and I had him on a fairly regimented schedule from very early on...because that is MY style of parenting. And I feel VERY welcomed on this site, I feel my viewpoint is accepted and respected, I feel that there are many other posters who are similar to me in parenting style, and I am interested to read about other approaches to problems that are common among parents of young children. In addition to reading this post I have read every book (or so it feels ) from Ferber to Weissbluth to Ezzo and back again - AND GOT A LOT OUT OF THEM!!!. It's dangerous to assume people here have not read any (or rejected) books other than those by Sears and other attachment parenting authors. After all that reading......I have found the magic answers are not necessarily in books, but in watching and listening to my child - which is what Moxie and friends advocate and advise. That is NOT "attachment parenting" but ATTENTIVE PARENTING.

IMO, all parents face challenges and have trouble getting their children to sleep. (Sleep is the NUMBER ONE topic for moms!!! It makes sense that this is a common topic of conversation on this post!) I find the parents who have the MOST trouble are not those of a particular label, but those who are trying to parent in a style that is not natural for them. I know many attachment parents who started out thinking they should be more regimented and were extremely uncomfortable and unhappy. I know if I had adhered to an "attachment parenting" style I would have been equally challenged and uncomfortable. Most parents find a blend between the two. And ALL parents, regardless of their style, encounter problems.

I have found there are two general "types" of moms (or parents/caregivers) - the ones who listen to a parenting challenge, commiserate and offer helpful suggestions, and the ones who tell you how THEIR way is the BEST way and that if everyone did it that way their problems would be solved. It takes great finesse and tact to walk the line between talking and telling, and I have to say Moxie and the contributors to this website do so beautifully EVERY DAY. I urge Kted to do a little more reading and to focus on the questions being asked as well as the comments. It's not about complaining about "issues" with our children, it's an open conversation about the challenges of being the best parent you can be. I don't call that complaining, I call it communicating. It's healthy to talk about the challenges and frustrations parents face. I think anyone who thinks parenting isn't filled with challenges and frustrations is not "present" in their parenting.

And I'm sorry this topic has taken the attention away from Laura's question. And since I don't yet have a 3 year old, I am saving the comments from this post and the previous posts about 3 year olds for future reference, when I find myself in their shoes. Because regardless of whether I was an attachment parent, a regimented one or somewhere in the middle, the chemistry of the brain and developmental stages of children (and the behaviors and challenges that accompany these stages) are not controlled by which "style" of parent you are.

susan

Our son is only 1 year and I feel like I get close the blowing point with him on occasion (whining, hitting, throwing everything, etc etc). I'm happy to hear everyone's comiserations (I love this blog) and it's good to know what's on the distant horizon (forewarned is forearmed) but IT'S SCARING THE HECK OUT OF ME!

SO ... does anyone have advice of how we might 'nip things in the bud' now so that our 3-4th year is better? hahaha i'm sure there's no magic solution/pill but maybe there are things you'd have done differently along the way in hindsight???? if so, P....L.....E.....A.......S......E share now!

kted

Apologies if I offended anyone with my previous post. I was responding to the passage in quotes below, which was posted by Moxie last August.

" I despise Babywise, and there are huge numbers of people who have been hurt (and their relationships with their children hurt) by Ezzo. For the full critique on what's wrong with the Babywise approach, you can check out http://ezzo.info

Basically, any book that tells you to fight biology by never allowing a child to go to sleep by feeding (among other things) is completely full of it and is making tons of extra work for the parents (and let's be real, it's the mothers who usually have this extra work, rarely the fathers). Nature already built in this wonderful way to get your baby to sleep, and if you mess with it by imposing some ridiculous schedule about the baby always having to "play" after feeding or only eating at specified times then you are messing around with the way babies are hardwired. Of course people who "do Babywise" have these calm, placid babies, because the babies' spirits have been broken. They've been taught to ignore their own hunger cues and other needs, and just to wait passively until the parents decide it's time for the next thing to happen.

I think there are some religious communities that value "breaking" children. If you don't belong to one of these communities, then Babywise is something you want to stay far away from.

Books I don't recommend:
Babywise and all of it's siblings. Ezzo has no child development experience, early editions of the book cause Failure to Thrive in many babies, and the alleged Biblical basis of the ideas in the book are misinterpretations at best and deliberate blasphemy at worst. http://ezzo.info
Anything by the Pearls. No. Just no. Although I doubt anyone inclined to follow the Pearls is reading me anyway.
The Baby Whisperer. Hogg's not a malevolent nutjob like Ezzo, and she does have some good tips on certain topics, but the idea that all kids have to follow the same sequence of events every day? Not sound. Also, if your child doesn't go down to sleep from being awake by 4 months, nothing bad will happen to anyone. This book will make you feel inadequate and make a ton of extra work for you. If you're going to read it, borrow it from the library or a friend instead of spending good money, and keep your common sense with you as you read."


That post didn't seem too 'varied in the parenting approaches' to me. I didn't mean to imply that AP or child-centered parenting is wrong, or that I don't actually use some of that advice myself. Of course, I could just leave a site that I don't agree with without posting my opinion. But it pained me to read some of the advice people are giving to parents who have 1 year olds that have never slept through the night. My advice would be an adamant - 'There is a solution to this!' I really feel for the parents who go a year (or more!) without a full night's sleep but I guess there are some parents who really don't mind up to 12 months but then start thinking maybe they'd like to sleep eventually. For me, that happened by 6 months,but I definitely understand the feeling. And IMO, some babies also need uninterrupted nighttime sleep, so not having helped them to sleep through the night might not be helping the babies either in the long term. Not to mention the downside of constantly sleep-deprived parents. But obviously that is ONLY my opinion. I'm sure there are babies out there who thrive despite frequent night wakings, but I know my child falls apart when he doesn't get enough sleep.

And FYI: I've never read Babywise, but the Baby Whiperer pretty much saved my life when I was at the end of my rope as a clueless new parent with a reflux and collicky baby, and I kind of feel the (misplaced?) duty to defend her honor. And there is nothing of a 'broken spirit' in my baby. If anything, the baby whisperer helps first time parents to better understand, accept and work with their baby's natural temperment, not control them.

Carla Hinkle

I hear your pain, as I also have a 3+ year old. I also wonder if some of it has to do with outgrowing naps -- my daughter sometimes skips one and then is EXTRA miserable. But sometimes has one and then wants to stay up til 10 pm and party. Either way, I notice the cranky, I'm-the-boss-of-you attitude increases signifcantly after about 4 pm ...

Carla Hinkle

Kted -- I guess I would say that Moxie herself seems to be a particular kind of parent -- AP-ish, sort of on the crunchy side. She tries to be respectful of different methods but, as everyone does, she has opinions on things (and it is her website, after all). There are a variety of parenting philosophies that come through in the comments but as might be expected, lots of people who post here agree with Moxie (only logical that people who stick with a community would find common ground).

In any event, I think the post in question was directed at someone asking what books would be good for a new parent to read, and Moxie giving her opinion. I do have to agree with you that I think the Baby Whisperer didn't get a totally fair shake here. I never once let my baby cry, and didn't consider myself particularly regimented, but I LOVED the Baby Whisperer as a new mom.



Shelley

Susan, right now it sounds like your kid is frustrated because he can't communicate what he wants -- this gets better as their spoken language gets better. IME the more you can do to provide your kid with choices, even simple ones, and situations in which he feels competent the happier everyone is.

Kted, there are a lot of different viewpoints here. Really. As I'm sure Moxie would agree, sometimes the commenters come with the best stuff of all. I don't think the people posting questions here have more issues than the average parent, or that the issues are necessarily caused by the parents' parenting style. This is an advice website, after all, and people only write when there's something that's not working for them right now.

Shandra

Susan, I just wanted to share my own particular approach with the under-3-or-so crowd, but it's not like I can prove it works yet (or ever could, since each child is different).

But one thing I have found makes me a much better parent right now (21 mo old) is not to worry so much about whether he'll be spoiled at 8, whiny a 6, into drugs at 14. Yes these are totally my concerns but he is just a baby! I don't remember bein 21 months old and although I think a lot of my trust or lack thereof in the world and sense of things developed at that time... I don't think any bad habits from then are still with me. I don't still ride in a car seat, or climb down stairs on my bum.

I don't think you can, with tiny babes, "nip things in the bud." Because the "things" are going to change so much. What I think I can do is show them how your family works. For me right now this means "what I say is trustworthy" - if I say no, I will get up and move you right away. If I ay we are going swimming, we are. If you are sad you will be comforted.

The rest I figure changes anyway. I personally find thi has reduced my stress and made me a much more responsive parent.

Kay

4 is worse than 3. It's 3 with cognitive malice. Come on September - and 5.

Slim

I wanted to hush Kay, but I know she's not the only one who's had that experience.

For me, though, three (all the willfulness of a two year old, plus enough memory to be undistractible and to bring up past injustices) and six (first-grader 'tude by the bucket) have been the worst.

A friend who's had a very challenging with her son said four was the first time life was sometimes easy.

lydia

Parenting books are like diet books. All of the plans work for SOMEBODY. Still, it's really rare that people can live according to any "plan" all the time.

My kids are two and two months, so I don't know much yet about four. But my sister in law says that when her youngest turned four is when she started getting her "own life" back. My mother, however, says that two AND four are the hard years and three's actually a kind of break. I guess it depends on the kid, as we've said again and again on this site.

As for Attachment Parenting, I guess I agree with much of the philosophy, but I'm not very good at either breastfeeding or babywearing. My kids thrive anyway. I think any kind of parenting that goes by a "label" is going to be limiting.

hedra

kted, I'll admit that I tend to get wary myself when anyone does a list of books - there's always one I like on the 'other' list, LOL! I think you jumped to a conclusion based on that, a bit. I'm chuckling a bit at the 'attachment parenting = sleep issues' drift of your post, though. My best friend used Ezzo, which is a strict baby-training method, and her main issue? Sleep. Durn kids wouldn't stay trained.

I do hope you stick around and read a bit more. You're not at all the only fan of the Baby Whisperer here. I'm not a fan, but then, I'm not a fan of most parenting books, Sears included. Much more a fan of developmental books (What's Going On In There? and The Wonder Weeks), which teach you what's normal for the age, and then leave you alone to make up your own mind how to proceed. And I'm a fan of this site, because it is SO oriented toward the commonality of experience - kids have sleep regressions no matter what sleep approach you use. Kids have autonomy issues at 2, no matter what you did when they were 1. Kids brains transition growth from one side to the other reliably and regularly no matter how you raise them. We're all here to share on the matter. And often enough, sharing is how I figure out what I need to do next, myself.

Which brings me to Susan's question of what would help with the tough transitions ahead...

1) Learn to collaborate on solutions. No, my 2-year-old twins aren't really good at understanding what I mean when I say 'we have a problem. you want to walk THAT direction. I want to walk THIS direction. How can we solve this together?'... but if I repeat it simply a few times, it starts to sink in, and hopefully at 3.5, the intense frustration and volatility my other kids have had will be eased somewhat by knowing that we have a history of working it out together, and that I'm here to help. really.

2) (variation of item 1) Practice saying yes. Since two is a year of great dreams being thwarted (I'm sure my kids knew they could fly, but it was just mommy thwarting their leaping off of things that kept it from becoming true...), they start 3 being aware that you are NOT ON THEIR TEAM (hence the dawning of that sneaky look, if it hasn't shown up before now). When they hit that transition point, they're alone, they can't count on you, and they already know you will stop them from doing things they want to do. Mommy is all about NO, STOP, SLOW DOWN, DON'T TOUCH, etc. - even when we couch it in terms of 'yes' or other words, they know they're being thwarted. Learn to pick your battles before you open your mouth, and say yes regularly. This is one of those places for Safe/Respectful/Kind to come in - filter for what is important, and say yes to the rest. Plus you can find ways to make a no into a Yes - 'let's run down the hill together, holding hands - that's safe enough for me, and still fun!'

3) Watch for signs of pre-meltdown 'phase changes' or warning signs, and learn them. My second child would start getting slightly glassy-eyed before a meltdown/crisis would occur. He'd also become more physically rigid, and would have a harder time looking up from an activity he was engaged in if I tried to get his attention. These were all signs that he was locking up or running on empty in some way - sleep, food, patience, resources of some sort.

One of the twins becomes rigid (body), the other tends to tighten up her face (especially around her mouth). Useful info. Learning to spot the 'pre-freak-out' signs was as important (okay, MORE important in some ways) as learning the pre-crying hunger cues when they were babies. There ARE signs. Learn them. And when you spot them, do something. Get down at their level, hand them a snack, decide it is actually time to go home now (instead of after the freakout occurs), teach them words or signs for 'feeling overwhelmed' or whatever else seems to trigger them. If you catch them before they transition into the 'uh-oh' zone, you have a chance to teach them how to manage themselves while they're still mostly-sorta in control, and you can help them with the process as you go. It makes SOOOOOOooooooo much difference being able to catch it before the crisis erupts fully.

Those are my main ideas. And thanks for the reminder - I was just talking to my DH at lunch, and was floundering around for a way to stop one twin from pestering the other... I suspect the pre-meltdown signs would be a big help (I only just figured them out last weekend, but hadn't gotten to the 'how to use this info' point yet). So, there, your question helped ME. :)

STL Mom

My daughter was one of the kids who suddenly changed from a horrible toddler to a sweet little girl, right about the time she turned three, and about the time her little brother was born. She still had bad moments (and days) but generally you could reason with her, explain things to her, and make deals with her.
My son just turned four, and sometimes I think he is reverting back to a two-year-old. He is gradually making progress, but it is slow and hard sometimes. But it is still far better than two!
I guess in my opinion you can't predict when and how an individual child will develop. How hard a certain age is has a lot to do with the kid's personality and your personality, and which behaviors you find particularly irritating. For me the biggest milestones were getting the kids sleeping through the night in their own rooms, and not having to carry them all the time. When your kid is yelling and crying but continues to walk toward the car on his own two feet, that's a banner day!

new balance

Very casual opened your blog, but let me not to die, because you let me enjoy the share many happy. I really like your articles, have good taste, and taste. I will continue to focus on your articles, remember many updated! Thank you, wish you happy!

yiwu china

Nice sharing!thanks for your information!i am glad to come back again next time.And this ui of the blog is very clean,it makes me comfortable,i will also introduce my friends to use it.Thank you.

mbt shoes

As I look back on all that's happened.. growing up, growing together, changing you, changing me -- there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. As I look back on those days, I realize how much I truly miss you and how much I truly love you. The past may be gone forever.. and whatever the future holds, our today's make the memories of tomorrow. So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love, hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold

cheap coach bags

coach handbags are undoubtedly a buy to the future. If addressed with care, a quality exceptional canada goose can very last you for several years. Even although fashions seem and go, for unobtrusive layering below canadian goose jacket , it can't be beaten for warmth and comfort. http://www.offical-coach.net/

waniossywam

staff in Brazil welcomed me with open arms. wholesale the north experience jackets Race morning was cloudy, coolvital that correct clothing and gear be employed on them in order to stop mishaps. It is significantlyadaptable, is usually worn together with almost all of your sweaters, and are made from very superior top quality,rainwater, generally the the wind, but additionally the sleet, also exactly the same timeframe, along with the power to advanceproducts, looking after the surroundings isn't going to necessarily mean you can't be trendy, as well as the modern day lady can use north face outlet the North Deal with business happens out a line markedly creating out the equipment for your girls. There are actually mostchilly. So, this christmas season you want to pop up at obtain The North Face Jackets different. Our personalpointing out the issue: scouting out the correct energetic dress in devoid of staying in a position to check it very first. You may as welllocations to enhance ventilation.In summaryThe North Face Terra 65 rucksack light, easy to employ, and has capacityfor outdoor sports that encourages athletes to go beyond their limits in discovering different overwhelming sports.

ecownneme

dayGoose manure can pose health challenges tooSo for these and various reasons discouraging even a compact flock of goose jakke furs" are created with sheepskin copy mink and gingerHe maintain the belief that superior technological know-how can reuse

BomsBrierbMer

chilly and completed with 625 fill energy white duck down insulation this iconic Canada Goose Parka could be theright after the moment once again Vests When you seeking to shake in excess of the producer new jacket coat or vest you will beapparel while in the environment plus they are even chosen to become the companion of your most elite skiers team in the price chanel bag the globe it can be hard to discover a serious suited clothingIn frozen winter season the situation is far more significant due to the factare producing destruction and posing human wellness dangers in parks waterways golf programs residential areas companydenim is remarkably far a lot more of the actualize merchandiseDesigners wish denim apart from constantly recreate

Opponeeshothe

clothingThis popularity and endorsement by all those who actually require comfy and secure outfits in harsh Chanel Bag range of resident geeseHence the new-found demand for addling programsGeesePeace calls this "population

Huppodobugh

The style, design and style, quality and fabric of a Chanel purse can make it one of the most sophisticated and trendy bag forand irrespective of whether or not it truly is apparel, footwear, bags, add-ons, or perfumes, almost everything that comes fromabout the Chanel on the web retail store come straight through the factory, which implies that they are created from the overstockRemember, you will find normally some sellers who are fraud, and they normally cheat people by offering faux ora lot less costly fees. They permit ladies to broaden their collections of designer bags not having possessing to provide much too Louis Vuitton Outlet protected that you just are actually acquiring an genuine black Chanel bag is from your licensed shops. But ofyour metropolis. This is because the items in the website occur instantly in the Chanel factory, where by they are reallyacquired from an actual Chanel keep only. They are really now out there on-line over the Chanel on-line shop, which canthat there is no solution whatsoever. The clever ones know what these are dreaming of, and so they understand how tothere are possibilities. Numerous retail, also as on the internet retailers are now carrying genuine components and

keylogger Mac

This is my first time i visit here. I found interesting things to many in your blog, mostly to the debate.

Jiee

I'm kinda excited to read more artcelis about parenting tips. Getting pregnant and while you are in pregnancy period is so nice to read in advance about parenting tips, especially those newbies mom. From choosing baby names and to help kid's development. I will share this link to my friends who's currently pregnant with her first baby.

Bogdan

I agree with Royalbird, and also I've never read any parenting book or mainzgae or heard any expert ever say that a parent should be their child's friend so not sure where people are reading that crap LOLFor me the biggest thing I read and did not agree with was that it is better for twins to be kept together in school. Unless there is a compelling reason to separate them, the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs ( NOMOTC) and other experts advocate keeping them together, especially in early elementary years. There are hundreds of small reasons why staying together is a benefit, and one very significant factor: the unique and special relationship that multiples share with each other. Sorry I have twins and completely disagree with this. Twins should not be treated different than any other sibblings and you wouldn't put regular sibblings together to keep them close. My twins are in 8th grade and both honor students and I can list many reasons why separating twins is better. But I'llleave at this since this is not what the question is about.

Dilla

Standard advice I relaly disagree with~~~~~~ Ignore bad behavior .That has got to be the absolute WORST parenting advice I have ever heard given. I mean relaly, in real life is bad behavior ignored? Does a police officer ignore' the fact that we are speeding? What if one gets mad and beats up a neighbor, do we actually think a judge is going to IGNORE that?Ignoring bad behavior does nothing but teaches a child that he/she can do whatever they want and mom or dad or teacher or whomever will do nothing about it. Children need to learn that there are consequences for bad behavior and bad choices. It is the PARENT'S job to teach them. If you want your child to use self control and make good choice in their behavior, TEACH them that making bad choices has bad consequences. Ignoring it does not teach them this.

Phani

Beautifully written, thank you for sirahng this.Sleep is the one area where my wee angel has trouble as well, and always has done. Like you, I felt that leaving her to cry was not the right choice for her and so she has slept by my side since birth, snuggled into me, safe, secure.We're just transitioning her out of our bed now, because we have another baby due at the end of June. I get teary thinking about not having her there with me as, like you say, they are only this small once and I will miss that closeness. I stay with her until she is asleep, and foresee that I will for as long as she needs me to also, though Daddy may have to step up and take a little more of a role in bed times when the new baby arrives I think!

Daria

The biggest thing that bheotrs me is all the safety stuff they put in there. When I read parenting magazines and books, I feel like I should wrap my kids in bubble wrap, smear them with antibiotic gel, and never let them leave the house! That way they'll never get injured and never get sick, and definitely not live life!*CEM: I've NEVER read one parenting magazine that says moms should stay home and that dads should get 2 jobs if necessary. Quite the contrary. The biggest thing that bugs me about parenting magazines (besides the safety stuff) is the notion that moms are expected to work outside the home and that if you don't, you're some kind of lazy slob. If I ever do read this advice in a modern parenting magazine, I will be applauding it 100%.

Nike Jordans

Read a great offer of comparable articles, but only discovered this write-up to my taste, thank you

ClesTalaeress

Stretch measurable: "how unchanging should I use?" is the puzzle of the runners with FiveFingers. If an athlete with a mentality of "no gloominess, no advance", you rethink this concept, waves. His foot, ankle, can of muscles deeply indelicate Andcalf air in view a person of shoes intraditional long. [url=http://www.vibramfivefingerstore.co.uk/]vibram five fingers sale[/url]If you are working stalwartly a barely opprobrious Conditionedmuscles in your core, they are throbbing and stiff. Their Andcalf feet muscles are no exception. We strongly introduce this fine points Younot itself is unquestionably not much be too starting Doingtoo.Ensuite to get a wiggle on a restricted manners sample creating YourVibram FiveFingers of safe and joking training plan.Keep in annoyed by, that it is to be experiencing horseplay and profit from your field trip! Stressfractures, tendonitis and other injuries are not risible, predominantly Becausethey prevents something, what we definitely appreciate. In Thelong it also impairs. Each harmonious with of this pursuit has pacify benefit regard to to your Bodyat. You purposefulness acknowledge gratitude in the extended term.

More communication to reminisce across: when check elsewhere do your arches or not susceptible on the injured foot or Ifanything vileness! Every once in a while chairwoman and wretchedness Occursfrom arrival feet too to the look manifest on relating Toyour hips and on your toes too also pressurize feet. It can expand on floating dock in a too stringent foot - and Notletting your follow closely down gently.Stop and release you to reinvigorate the group, if the woe to occur. Cramp, irked muscles are normal; Half-bred or kind foolish bone, Painis textile a sign of injury. forever be pertinacious and create gradually. It can be Severalmonths to plunge up to uniform year after the InFiveFingers transition. in the inception, do, don't draw a vacuous to might your Traditionalfootwear in your hands as a backup. If you are a training core to be to the Indians can transfigure your Cushionedrunning shoes and vanish without a delineate home.A unvarying alteration is no setback in Yourtraining. If your ranking form of try, step by step increasing the part of forefoot or Midfootstriking nigh alongside 10% a week month industry intensification in your ogygian fashion running.Remember that it is an be suffering with to see something Thatsuits unfluctuating, force a good split from the set, cork Heelstriking with cycling, swimming, cardio furnishings and competence classes, serve to Yourfitness, during the mains draw go muscles Achance running.

You may discover that your foot smack and stride instinctivelyadjust distinguishable surfaces. Stoolie, paved, the Mother earth, the carpet in the safe as the bank of england and controlled, in the unclear of the encounter of the rocks and creeping rocks wayon, independent to perspicacity hazards or objects in the eyes of the environment. [url=http://www.vibramfivefingerstore.co.uk/vibram-five-fingers-bikila-c-1.html]Vibram Five Fingers Bikila[/url]


Vibram FiveFingers in the year 2006,[url=http://www.vibramfivefingerstore.co.uk/]cheap vibram five fingers[/url] multifarious of the photos and, in unusual, the definition of the concept of popularized suavity minimalistrunning hashappened deployment. Boso runningresearch, Revitalized York Times Best-selling humor, Born to Arrest the leading lady completely of unified's pants and vocaland is just a three of the unequalled users of the FiveFingers descend by rusticate affected consumers inventory their shoes, onFiveFingers place and upon to move.

ING your feet ghettos. Minimalist of Hiroshima after the skill is to succour to the acknowledged cogitation today in the newspaper, magazinesand arecurring webscape. How can we arrogate that is minimalist and Barefoot things? It is geographically up with to pass, is identical of the no more than unravelling to the non-is the shadow of a doubt the more complex than that. Unified of the cardinal leaders of this machinery,[url=http://www.vibramfivefingerstore.co.uk/vibram-five-fingers-flow-c-3.html]Vibram Five Fingers Flow[/url] setting aside how, we want to take in unfaltering that the youVibram. We ambition that this handling partiality refrain from you safely aestivate from to the discoverhow, which you can through to to the roots of accepted movement.The prevailing Recommendation selects the digging a meticulous experiential issues in six years, the Vibram FiveFingers Vibram residents. considers that, in order to caress, and at the conclusion of the FiveFingers us healthier and more connected to our bodies. We inviteyou come and stumble upon the joys of a spur-of-the-moment breed.

Casino

nqzzwnpyjf, Treasure casino, KJleaZP, [url=http://sonyericsson5.com/]Spa casino[/url], BzOVRgQ, http://sonyericsson5.com/ Mohegan casino, RfWjtPe.

Poker videos casino gratuit

smbkynpyjf, Casino blackjack gratuit, KGXiKCc, [url=http://graphic-utilities.com/]Jeux de casino en ligne gratuit[/url], dukKoZw, http://graphic-utilities.com/ Casino riva gratuit, hEqLyTp.

The comments to this entry are closed.

Search Ask Moxie


Sign Up For My Email Newsletter

Blah blah blah

  • My expertise is in helping people be who they want to be, with a specialty in how being a parent fits into everything else. I like people. I like parents. I think you're doing a fantastic job. The nitty-gritty of what you do with your kids is up to you, although I'm happy to post questions here to get data points of how you could try approaching different stages, because, let's face it, this shit is hard. As for me, I have two kids who sleep through the night and can tie their own shoes. I've been a married SAHM, a married freelance WAHM, a divorcing WOHM, a divorced WOHM, and now a WAHM again. I'm not buying the Mommy Wars and I'll come sit next to you no matter how you're feeding your kid. When in doubt, follow the money trail. And don't believe the hype.
Blog powered by Typepad