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MoxieTopics

  • MoxieTopics
    Short PDF ebooks on specific parenting topics, in-depth and focused

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Comments

Mary Beth

I'm delurking here to say thanks for this awesome blog and the PPD posts. I just gave birth to my first and am exclusively breastfeeding. I had a great LC that saved our nursing relationship and I was super-lucky to have found her. I would even go one further than your suggestion to have the number of a LC on the refrigerator and suggest actually having a consultation with the LC before the baby is born. My LC actually has a package that includes a pre-birth consult and several postpartum consults. I really wish I had done that. I feel that I would have been more confident the first few days and weeks.

Keep up the good work! This is great!

Mary Beth

AmyinMotown

I agree with your suggestion of a class; however, mine made me LESS likely to breastfeed than I was before I walked in! The teacher was bad, and my specific questions -- 1) how soon to attempt some sort of scheduling, because I am pretty ADD and need my days to have some structure, and 2) how I could make sure she would take a bottle because I needed to work -- were completely blown off in a way that made my hormonal self feel very undermined. I got lucky in a couple ways. The hospital where I had my baby has a breastfeeding supprt service with LCs on staff, and I could see someone right in my hospital bed. The woman I saw was so nice and supportive and I really needed that at that time. I had their number memorized those first few weeks and they were wonderful! So I highly second the idea of finding out those resources before you have your baby.

One thing I would ike to get your take on: While I agree with what you support person should be doing for you, I certainly didn't have that kind of support at home for more than the first week and I don't think most people do. Once my husband got back to work, I was on my own (I have close-by family and helpful friends, thank God, but everyone works so I was kind of on my own during the day). What would you suggest for people who are in the role of being mostly their own support person? What's most important that they do or not do? I know I felt so shaky and unconfident those first few weeks alone (which is a place the LCs were soooooo helpful).

luolin

Dear Moxie,
Please don't ever take your archives down. This all seems like great advice, and I hope it is still here a year from now when I need it (I hope).
Luolin

Carla Hinkle

I cannot recommend having the name of the LC before you give birth enough. I did (luckily a fantastic LC has offices in the same building as my OB), so I went for a little one-on-one consult before the baby was born, bought my Pump In Style from her, and went back to the nursing moms support group on my daughter's one week birthday, where I got great support for my cracked, bleeding nipples and help correcting latch, etc. I went back once or twice a week for 3 months and it made all the difference in the world. Especially since the nurses in the hospital, while well-intentioned, were next to useless.

It also helps to have friends you can call who are moms -- if you have any, even if they aren't in your town or neighborhood, I got some great tips that way too. And it's great for moral support if nothing else.

Roastedsquid

I just recently discovered your site and find it to be a wealth of information. I just forwarded this post to my sister who is expecting in June. My LC helped me tremendously and if it weren't for her I would have given up at 6 weeks, sick to death of sore and bleeding nipples. She was able to retrain both myself and my son and we were able to make to 9 months formula free (a long time for a full time working mom!). Anyway, I just wanted to add, that if your insurance does not cover lactation consultants, you can use money from your Flexible Spending Account for medical purposes toward this expense. I did not find out until afterwards, so I a hard time digging up the receipt. I just want to get the word out there for those who are doing some financial planning for the impending birth.

Amy

I'd like to second Luolin's request that you keep the archives available as long as you can do so. They've been invaluable to me since I found them. I only wish I had found them when I was still pregnant.

The advice that people have given about having an LC before you give birth is priceless, but there are a couple pieces missing. First, don't wait until your last month to find an LC. My baby came 5 weeks early and even though I had planned to breastfeed, really I had only planned to plan to BF. I didn't have my support in place in time, and I think that is much of the cause of my terrible, no good BF experience. (Too much NICU time + NICU staff that discouraged BFing = baby who never made transition to breast. I pumped for 13 months.)

Second, just because someone has the title LC doesn't mean they are the right fit for you and your needs. I was directed to the "LC" at my pediatrician's office when my baby wouldn't stay latched beyond the third draw at my breast. The LC said she had never seen anything like that before and encouraged me to just keep pumping and bottlefeeding. It seemed odd to me, but I trusted her because my pediatrician employed her. Although she was a nurse, she didn't know what she was talking about, but by the time I realized this, the uphill battle to BF was too steep and I quit trying and became quite depressed.

I'm sorry to go on like that, Moxie. You can delete or edit this comment down if you want. But, in short, my experience has shown me that I shouldn't have assumed I'd have that last month of pregnancy to get ready, and that when my gut told me that the answer I got was not helpful to me, I should have kept looking. Not all LCs are created equally.

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  • My expertise is in helping people be who they want to be, with a specialty in how being a parent fits into everything else. I like people. I like parents. I think you're doing a fantastic job. The nitty-gritty of what you do with your kids is up to you, although I'm happy to post questions here to get data points of how you could try approaching different stages, because, let's face it, this shit is hard. As for me, I have two kids who sleep through the night and can tie their own shoes. I've been a married SAHM, a married freelance WAHM, a divorcing WOHM, a divorced WOHM, and now a WAHM again. I'm not buying the Mommy Wars and I'll come sit next to you no matter how you're feeding your kid. When in doubt, follow the money trail. And don't believe the hype.
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