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The 10-year-old's reading

MoxieTopics

  • MoxieTopics
    Short PDF ebooks on specific parenting topics, in-depth and focused

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Comments

Jen (yup, another one)

Can you please share the "hard-core plan to prevent" PPD? I have been off anti-depressant/anti-anxiety meds throughout this pregnancy very much by choice, but it's definitely affected my motivation, mood, and ability to cope with stress. I want to stay off them while nursing but my shrink mumbles dire things about the likelihood of PPD (although she is willing to go along with my no meds unless proven necessary approach). I'd love more concrete ideas about anything I can do to fend off PPD.

(You know I am already on the flax seed oil & chocolate plan!)

Moxie

I could probably write a book about it. I'll write the main points over the weekend and post them next week for you.

AmyinMotown

Thank you for this post, Moxie, and Jodi. The one thing that's reallly stopping me from being good and ready to try to get pregnant again is that I kind of lost my shit in different ways. I wrote about it on my blog at the time and you made a very nice comment, Moxie. I am not sure if knowing it was all okay eventually will make it easier if I can get pregnant a second time. But thanks to you both for adressing this issue.

Wood

Wow, Moxie.

I'm going to tell every pregnant woman I ever encounter to read this.

Jody

Best wishes with your pregnancy, Jodi. I struggled with unidentified depression until after delivery and wish now that I had articulated my problems for myself much earlier.

And, well -- I'm trying to be polite here -- please believe that many folks were responsible teens (sexually and otherwise) and were not able to get pregnant the first month they or their partners went off the pill. Or the twenty-eighth. Infertility cannot be attributed to prior sexual behavior. Thanks.

parodie

Jody, I wonder if you misinterpreted Jodi's comment? I understood her comment to mean that she's glad she was responsible as a teen because she got pregnant so easily, and therefore that not being responsble as a teen would have led to "problems" such as dealing with pregnancy.
I didn't read that as a responsible teen -> easy conception.

mary

The old thing? Kind of depends where you live. Back when I lived in California, all the moms were in their 30s. Now that I've moved to the midwest, I see people my age (31.5) with 4 kids. So I guess I'm getting on towards elderly here, myself. :P

And Parodie, I was going to say exactly what you said about Jodi's "responsible teen" thing.

Jody

Well. Yes, that does make more sense as an interpretation of Jodi's comment about responsibility. I suppose it says something rather sad about me, that I read the comment three times, angsting over how to respond, and never saw it as anything other than a comment about fertility. Five years out, and my infertility-over-sensitivity is still showing up in weird places. (You'd be amazed how many people imply that only sexually promiscious women have trouble conceiving, what with all the undiagnosed STDs they surely must have endured.)

I'm sorry I misinterpreted the comment.

Linda B

Moxie,

This is excellent.

I'm towards the end of the first trimester with my second pregnancy and all I can say is that this was me last time, and a bit of me this time, too.

This statement "I think we feel guilty that we're not glowing, happy little earth mothers, basking in the miracle of human repoduction and our own fecundity. I think we feel cheated out of enjoying something our culture tells us is the pinnacle of human experience, and terrified that we won't enjoy being mothers" is so right on I want to print it out and have it matted to be hung on my wall. I had mixed emotions about how I was supposed to feel during my first pregnancy and struggled with balancing my emotions. Society sets a certain expectation of how an expectant mother is supposed to act, without factoring in sometimes shocking physical and mental changes that come with pregnancy and parenthood. I swear, those happy and blissful statements were written by a man!

With both pregnancies, I have experienced the strong desire to hole myself away from society and just be left alone. Also, can I tell you how moody I've been? Let's just say I feel very sorry for my husband.

It's very reassuring to know that this is normal and that other people experience the same thing.

I hope people know it is ok to feel and even normal this way. I think (for me, at least) things seem to get better when the nausea and fatigue dissipate. I've had many days where I've broken down crying on my way home because I've felt so tired and worn out from my everyday responsibilities. Somedays, it's just too much to handle. But (somehow!) I got through it and I know I will be ok this time, too.

Hang in there, Jodi.

Moxie, I have problems taking large pills and I've heard that flax seed pills can kind of "come up" on you after you take them and leave a nasty aftertaste. Does the oil have the same effect and if so, what is the easiest way to get that stuff down? I tried mixing a tbls full into my yogurt and I could barely choke it down.

Moxie

Linda B, my mom takes flax seed oil to keep her mild arthritis at bay, and she drizzles it on her toast like butter in the morning. I think you could also freeze the pills and take them right before you go to bed and that might help, too.

I also experienced symptoms of depression with my second pregnancy, but that time I realized it was all physical, induced by the pregnancy, and just tried to sort of ride above them, if that makes any sense. I didn't feel great, but at least I wasn't thinking I was depressed for any reason that I could do anything about.

I also holed up and had limited contact with people IRL while I was pregnant, both times.

Anyone else? Why don't we talk about this the same way we talk about herorrhoids?

Linda B

If only flax seed tasted like butter. Then I'd have NO problem getting it down ;)

Thanks Moxie.

Katie

I have mixed my tablespoon of flax seed oil with a glass of orange juice and it goes down much easier.

jodi

I was the original person to post about depression and want to emphasize that I was not insinuating that sexual behavior has an correlation to infertility. In fact I explained that part of my guilt over my depression came from the fact that I had the good fortune to become pregnant easily when many of my friends have experienced difficulty. The other part is that I am sarcastic as hell and that doesn't always e-deliver smoothly. Moxie you had better be in advertising or marketing if you write this well as a hobby it is truly unfair.

heather

Hi Moxie, I'm looking forward to your upcoming post about your 'hardcore plan' to prevent PPD.
I'm 5 months along, and quite frankly shitting my pants about the risk of PPD... I have lived with not-too-harsh depression for 3 years now, and my doctor and I agreed it'd be best for me to stay on the low-dosage, low-risk antidepressants rather than go through what I know to be very unhealthy depressive episodes without the meds.

The studies I've looked over tend to be both yes-correlation and no-correlation as to depression before pregnancy and PPD, or depression during pregnancy and PPD. So they don't help me at all.

I have read up on PPD (drawn to what scares us, eh?) and am in the process of educating those around me to help in the event that.

Er.. I'm blathering on here, but you *did* ask if anyone else had anything to say ;) Fortunately, I have nothing to contribute about the hemmorhoid discussion!

Keep up the good work :)

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  • My expertise is in helping people be who they want to be, with a specialty in how being a parent fits into everything else. I like people. I like parents. I think you're doing a fantastic job. The nitty-gritty of what you do with your kids is up to you, although I'm happy to post questions here to get data points of how you could try approaching different stages, because, let's face it, this shit is hard. As for me, I have two kids who sleep through the night and can tie their own shoes. I've been a married SAHM, a married freelance WAHM, a divorcing WOHM, a divorced WOHM, and now a WAHM again. I'm not buying the Mommy Wars and I'll come sit next to you no matter how you're feeding your kid. When in doubt, follow the money trail. And don't believe the hype.
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